Category: Dating and Relationships
Why is it that most men seem to not be able or willing to tell there partner that they love them in front of other males?
And, if they do, it's often hurried or barely audable?
I'm not talking about professing one's undying love, but it almost seems that men are afraid of being made fun of or ridiculed for having feelings/ or emotions?
All females out there, have you noticed this?
Hi.I can't tell you if females noticed this because i am not one but i will tell you my oppinion.It's easy to say that you love somebody but it's difficult to show it and personaly i would prefear people who show their love even if they don't say it. Personaly i don't tell to my girlfriend that i love her in front of other people because in my oppinion things like that should be between the two. Why should other people hear me tell my girlfriend that i love her? I don't love them but her so she is the one who should listen not them. I don't know if it makes sence what i said but English is not my first language. In my own language i would be able to explain it better.
Well, I agree, but it's just that it seems shamefull to most men?
This is down to simple evolution and is not solely the preserve of humans. If the leader of the pack ect, declares his softer side he may be usurped for a stronger tougher leader, therefore losing his mating rights and alpha male status. Plus it's down to their upbringing, men are rarely taught to freely express their emotions, personally I'd rather have a quick mumble than nothing at all.
I agree with that. It's just not in our nature and I think professing one's love is kind of a pricate thing anyways. In my experience, the more publically romantic couples are the more unstable their relationship is, at least when they constantly make a point of teling their friends how incredibly in love they are and how perfect the relationship is. I do tell my fiance that I love her publically but I try not to make a big scene about it because, frankly, other people don't care and may even get irritated if they feel we're out with them but so into each other we might s well "get a room" or stay home. It's a balance thing.
Oh, and I think the topic title is pretty offensive, being shy about
expressing one's feelings in public has got nothing to do with one's brain capacity. And, once again, it's up to individuals, it's not necessarily a trait of the entire gender. For some reason women feel they're always allowed to say things like that about men and it's their right but if we said something like "jeez, all women are bitches" we'd be put down pretty hard.
Yeah, sorry, but that's rubbish. Apart from the generalisation factor, I know plenty of guys who are painfully, embarrassingly cooey over their girls in public, and it just makes me wonder what they're trying to prove. I mean, there's being honest or caught up in a moment, and then there's putting on a show. You'll find that the public around you generally don't care all that much how much you gush over each other, and if it matters so much to you, well, maybe there's other problems that need addressing. Just my thoughts.
I would not say that men are brainless. And socially odd - you can't generalize that. Lol I have to defend the men here. I mean of course there are soem brainless ones, or men who are socially odd, but I am sure that this applies for women as well.
Ditto. Besides, how can a behavior be "socially odd" if supposedly one half of the population participate in it? Wouldn't that be sufficient numbers to make it a "mainstream" tendency in its own right? That being said, I think Goblin makes a good point here: I guess exposing your feelings is a bit like exposing an open wound; you show your most vulnerable side. Just as you put a bandage over a wound, many people might be inclined to put a proverbial bandage over their feelings until they know they are in a safe and supportive enough environment to offer them up. And of course, as Wildebrew mentioned, there's always the curtesy element: it's just no fun for others to watch a couple who are wrapped up in their love to the exclusion of everything else--it bores them, makes them feel left out, and as if they are forced to intrude on something private. Of course, that doesn't mean love can't be expressed publicly at all, but there are certainly limits. Weren't you just a bit embarrassed at that famous scene when Tom Cruise jumped all over Oprah's couch shouting out his love for what's-her-name?
okay, fine, maybe I was a bit too harsh on the men here, and I did say I was not talking about professing one's undying love.
I just wonder what it is about males that makes it difficult for them to tell there other half that they love them, while it seems easier for females?
well of course I agree that some think with their ... yeah, you know. But there are real great ones. On here as well.
I think it's just how some or most guys are brought up. Despite it being the year 2006, society still has these notions of what a man is supposed to be and what a woman is supposed to be, for good or ill. A man is supposed to be tough, a defender, strong, macho, and all that. I can also agree with what a few others said about how a man may not feel safe to express emotions in public for fear of being made vulnerable and risk some kind of real or imaginary attack from other males. Just guessing, mind you, as I do not pretend to understand my fellow males, or for that matter my fellow humans.
Now now not all men are as bad as you made them out to be. I know there are some real assholes out there but there are some really nice guys who were brought up well. The assholes on the other hand may have had difficulties in their lives growing up making them somewhat insecure with themselves even though they think they aren't they are. Therefore they hurt people to make themselves feel good about themselves.
Take relationships for example, if the guy was cheated on several times by the girlfriends or was treated wrong more than likely he isn't going to feel insecure in his future realtionships with women and treat them disrespectfully because of his previous ones. Same goes for women to not just men.
Now I met quite of few men and women who have been treated like the scum off the bottom of a shoe but then can still treat their partner right because of the learning experiences because of their previous relations with their ex partners. That is if they didn't let the insecurity inslave them because of their bad experiences.
Well, each to his/her own. I'd for example, have very big issues with confessing my love to someone who posts names of other people on "who would you like to bang" boards on web sites. Even as a joke, to me, that's incredibly disrespectful and demonstrates that the person has no real interest in me.
Now, I'm not saying Crystal Rain is like that at all, (I noticed she posted to that board right after or right before creating this topic, which I found a bit surprising and to me indicates there are some major troubles, although I'm not going to speculate) but if I were dating her it would cause a serious argument. The point of this being that, well, people find different behavior acceptable and have different values and one just really has to learn to either meet half way and change some of your expectations or live with your partner having different values and behavior patterns from your own or decide you're not compatible enough, it doesn't mean your partner is necessarily an "ass hole" because he or she is not behaving like the person of your dreams but it can also indicate there are deeper issues.
I am a guy, and I don't necessarily like public displays of affection: but, that does not make me either brainless or "socially odd" whatever that is.
Nor do I like public displays of hostility. That's why I would never title a post with such an inflamatory title, even if I thrived on drama.
I have to agree it was tasteless.
I agree Labyrinth. It's a matter of society.
Well, didn't mean to offend anyone by posting, and no, I'm not like that at all.
I'm very happy with my current partner.
It was just a general question. I asked because I've seen it again and again.
So, I'll kindly ask you not to speculate regarding my life.
thank you
If you post about your life we are allowed to speculate
Lol, true.
Oh, men are certainly not brainless. Sometimes I think that they are smarter then half of the female population. I know a lot of men that are well known lawyers, computer people, and other such intellectual jobs. I just think some men are just embarrased like most females.